[Day 317] Being Gay and Asian

1: Racial Preference or Asian Fetish?

There was once, I was on an uber pool to the Castro to meet up with my friend.  As soon as the pooler got off, the driver started talking to me.  At first, he just asked me some general questions, like how old I am.  He said I look very young.  He asked where I am from, where I go to school.  Suddenly,  He told me that his ex is Asian, mixed Filipino and Vietnamese to be specific.  He introduced myself as German, in his early 30s.  He said that he has a thing for Asians.

I just kept quiet after that.   In my head, I was like: what does he mean by he has a thing for Asians? That sounds like one would go to Pornhub, in the category section, click Asians.  Does he like someone first of all because they are Asians?

Something similar happened when I was in Mexico.  I met a dude from Canada, good looking, works as a personal trainer.  After some small talks in a coffee shop, he was just straight up to me and told me that

– I really love Asians, I only date and hook up with Asians

– Wait, so you like someone just because they are Asians? Can I know why? – I asked

-They are usually slim.  Their skin is not too dark either too light.  Oh, your skin tone is exotic by the way.

I was about to fire up.  I did not want to talk to this dude anymore so I just walked away.

2: Asians should be slim, small, quiet and submissive and may have a daddy.

Someone I know, from a friend, we hang out in a group couple times.  He is very well educated; he went to that big school in South Bay.  He is doing interesting stuff for work and the community.  But I can not stand the way he talks about other Gay Asians.  Once he told his friend: “don’t eat too much, no one likes a fat Asian”.

When I tried to say my thought about it.  He and some other people make a comment that why I am so aggressive.  I was not aggressive.  I just tried to tell you how I feel when I hear things like this. It is speaking up and standing up for myself and others.  Someone made a joke:”just be cute, boy.”

Dude, I am not here to be a cute toy when you are being ignorant about my people.

Yeah, and of course, there is the daddy-boy dynamic if you hang out with older people.

3:  People think you are either into only Asians or you are either only into Caucasians.

So there is a term if you are into Asians,  they call you rice queen.  If you are into Caucasians, they call you potato queen.  If you are Asians and into Asians, they call it sticky rice.  You read them right, even in the gay community,  there is a color line and many labels.

I did not know what those terms mean.  I was at a house party meeting some new friends.  A gay couple, an Asian and Caucasian dude, when I introduce myself to them, we did handshakes.  The Asian guy held and shook my hand very strong.  I was confused about why he would do something like that.  I was not trying to take his man either complete with him.  I barely knew them, be nice to each other at least.  Later I found out that quite a few people at the house party thought that I am only into Caucasians.

I showed my straight boyfriends around the Castro when they were visiting.  Some white guys came up and whisper that you are too cute for Asians.  I was like wtf, literally.

I think if a man is hot, he is not.  Why eats only rice or potato when there is a full set of the menu you can choose from?


P/s: I am not trying to argue either prove anything.  I just shared some of my experiences and jotted down my thoughts

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