[Day 98] Breaks

I feel like I have a break down every Friday.  I cried after leaving my EE16A lab today.  I did not understand a lot of the questions and people just did it so fast.  It takes me a while to process information.  I feel so behind.  After the lab,  I just tried to go back the dorm as soon as possible so no one would see me cry.  Sometimes, letting things out make me feel better.

Someone told me “Don’t be sad, Lupin”.  I am very thankful to their words. But, hey, I am sad because of things happen.  I am not sad because I want to neither because someone tells me to.  So telling me “don’t be sad” just doesn’t make sense.  And it does not make me or others people feel better.

**************

Larry, one of my friend, we do not talk that much, but I send him postcards every time I travel.  He wrote to me:

“mister, I can tell you one thing. There is no better place to be then among smarter people then your self. You know that you can lear something then. If you are the smartest in the company, then you fucked.. boring and nothing to gain from there

your bad mood is because of ego and feeling sorry for your self. you are awesome, look at everything you have done so far, you have a gerat future but focus on your self. be your self, and do your best
being sad sorry will not help
you are smart, interesting, driven,
and cute
you will go long way! “
I just like the way he encourages me.  He is very on points and realistic.  He would criticize me if he needs too.  I feel slightly better.
John sent me a PM that he wanted to post.  I feel slightly better too.
********
Everyday is the opportunity for me to learn some thing new, not just about the world, but also about myself.
It is ok to feel sad.  It is ok to feel behind.  But don’t be sad all the time, don’t be behind all the time because it is great to lead and their are many more emotions to feel.

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